December 10, 2005 - 8:53 pm you know, we fight and we scream so much sometimes that my insides twist and i wonder how can this possibly last when i can't breathe i'm so angry. when he looks at me so blankly and on purpose and shrugs. he stubbornly shuts down when an argument starts, and i want to hurt him physically. i want to hit him to ease the fury boiling in my blood. when we stop talking and it's raw and tears to think about him without choking. but then there's today. he smiled at me and my stomach still flips over. he holds my hand and i feel sheer joy because i get to touch him. and all i want is more more more. he says my name and i sit up straighter from the chills sliding down my spine. he loves me, i think. he loves ME. HE loves me. he LOVES me. this person who i have never been able to let go of, no matter how many things were wrong, makes me giddy just by smiling. we compliment each other, he said yesterday and traced circles on the inside of my wrist. that's why we'll be together forever.
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