February 12, 2007 - 2:49 am i am suspicious of a friend. on two occasions now, she has given the indication that she does not want me to be around her people. not in a outright way, so this might seem a little paranoid... but twice now she has avoided talking about going out somewhere to the same place if any of her friends are going. the first time, i thought it was odd. and today, she lied and said she was going home - and when i sent her a message asking if she got home ok, she took about 15 minutes to respond (which is unusual) and finally said "i ended up going out with so and so. i'm such a dick." i think she sent the message because she would have been paranoid about me calling and checking to make sure she was ok. funny, because i knew she was lying and she would end up elsewhere, but she kept insisting she felt sick and wanted to go home. so i guess she's ashamed of me, which sucks to think about... especially because she sucks the life out of my group of friends. she's okay for my friends but i'm not okay for hers. ok ok, i am surly sometimes. i know that. it's so tiring, sometimes. i mean we can get along so well, but the other half i am always second guessing what she says. it seems like there's always an alterior motive behind everything. it's exhausting. she's like me, which is too hard for me to cope with. it makes me excessively paranoid, because i know she thinks about the same shit i do. i don't know. i'm in a lousy mood.
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